Let me stop for a second and say how extremely embarrassing this has been. I am working through some intense body love & acceptance issues right now but the reason I'm documenting my progress this way is that I feel ten times more accountable for actually doing it than if I just wrote it in my daily journal.
Here are my main challenges when it comes to fitness:
- I hate working out. Plain and simple. I love the post workout feeling, and I LOOOOOVE to sweat and be sweaty but I suck at it. My form is always off, especially because now I have all this extra fat in the way of all the moves. Since I'm a perfectionist x core, I usually end up getting frustrated and quitting, off to search for some quick, usually unhealthy, way to lose the poundage. I know this isn't right because it never works. Then I get all sad and eat a tub of ice cream. You see my dilemma. My husband also is trying to improve himself, and I am so thankful for the loving support he gives me by wanting to work out with me, but I also have a really hard time working out with other people around. Hmm.
- I am poor. As I previously mentioned, I tossed my high-paying, soul-sucking job for an hourly happier job. The down side to retaining more sanity than usual is the fact that my budget isn't exactly clean-eating friendly. I know there are so many cheap clean eats recipes out there...believe me, I have a pinterest board for that too. I really need to be more creative with healthy eating. Which is why I will be pinning on. Although, I am now thinking that I should be investing into my body if ANYTHING because that is what contains my soul and life. Which is why after starting this program, I am being semi-swindled into buying Shakeology shakes. They are expensive, but at the end of the day, I feel that I am paying for my fatness to go away. It's twisted but THIS KIND OF THINKING MOTIVATES ME.
Basically I've seen too many p90x success stories to not try it. Actually, I tried it about a year ago but I was lame and quit after like 15 days. This time, I'm excited to do the new p90x3. The 30 minute timeframe definitely helps to motivate me as well.
I've been doing the program for 4 days now. Just finished isometrics minutes before writing this blog. So far, I really like it! I hate hate hate motivating myself but I'm proud that I haven't cut corners yet. I finished every workout thus far, but I still am struggling with eating clean. Went to Whole Foods today and basically got hit over the head and mugged for the healthy food I bought. But I had to keep telling myself it is gonna be worth it. I have to basically live this way in order to have the body I want.
Speaking of the body I want, I am #sweatingforthewedding. My husband and I got married at the courthouse, but we are having a formal ceremony next year. I have my dress already and I can't fit into it. It was on sale, it's basically perfect, there are no more left. I checked. I'm determined to have to alter my dress into a single digit size by the time I am done with this program. Did I mention that I want to do two rounds of this? Most of the success stories I've seen are ones where the people do it twice.
I'm really all over the place because for the first time, I really see something working for me. Here are my goals:
- Two rounds of p90x3 by the wedding (exactly one year from now)
- Lose 40 pounds (in general)
- Single digit dress size
- Be fit not skinny
- Love my body
- Be happy
- Be flexible (mentally and physically)
So there we have it. I am going to track myself until the end. Debating doing a vlog about it as well. We shall see. I won't post my before pics yet because they are simply disgusting and I hate them.
